Units of Measurement

In ancient and modern times, units of measurement have varied from the absurd to the complete file jibbard. Therefore I have comprised a list of these which are still relevant today.

Aquatic Units

Sea was discovered in 1960 by an explorer named Marco Polo-Shirt and since then fish have been wandering the land trying to find jobs and set up a new life. In 1965, the first Fisherman was spotted in Dorset near Scotland and from that time it has been important to determine Aquatic Units.

Fish weight:

Aquatic sensitivity:

An average fish weighs around 4 to 6 bendovers whilst a larger fish could weigh up to 9 jibs. Alongside this, aquatic sensitivity of a fish to gentle stimulation is somewhere between a pooper and 2 labian.

Electrical Units

Whilst most electrical units are well known, others are too. In the 3^rd century before electricity was invented by Sir Ribbon Cod-Molasses, it was common place to find people dancing like "big girls". Therefore, these "big girl" copycat dancers were used to power entire villages to the following unit specification.

Units of power:

An average household could be powered for a day comfortably with around 4 to 5 munters of power.

Slap & Tickle

In a year that never happened in the 20^th century, the people of the South of England regularly took part in activities of disparagement. It was a common sport amongst the poor and needless and they were needles in haystacks made of sanguinous beaver. The level to which a gentleman or lady may be slapped was measured as below. Tickling was phased out in 1982 and since then it has been forbidden amongst people looking like monkeys.

Units of slap:

It must be noted that any slap over a barrycod may be considered hard and over a jip could be seen to be quite extreme.