Nine stage Jibber Lip Device suitable for carpet demoniac movement, includes seven ton bitch lyncher.

 

Barry Mantelope picture frame, this is not a picture frame.

 

Partly used cloth penis would suit a child attending weddings of the damned, will exchange for either one of nine amusing coffins for trendy funerals.

 

Funeral pies wanted, will need to fit corpses or buried sac repellant kits, my face is quite urgent on this one.

 

Tent Sentry arse wasters. Also includes enema of the month for February, it should be noted that all children are gay for this event which is never.

 

200 Football kits of varied sizes, most contain ticks and rare diseases which should bring a smile to your head (front and back). Also will accept offers for facial expressions varied context and space.

 

Boxes of spent semen from Sailors around the world, a loving gift for your loved one if you love it.

 

“I Did it My Way” record still in original shop where it wasn’t bought, can not sell due to ownership and Jewish friendships unfrequented.

 

100% Thieving Kit, not to be used for wife eating or pinching an inch at Mother of Goodness bag prizer big face times.

 

Sunday Times wanted for next Sunday will also accept delivery of Some Young Guy to my wife’s house next Saturday for Lippo Function.

 

“Hoovers Suck” experimental kit, will fit usual penis if not decreed by someone’s Mum next week. Will also accept offers for fights in and around the Fareham area.

 

Jebab kebab! Ever wanted to remove a kebab from a loved one’s arse and been too frightened in case you get common cold? Use the Jebab Kebab. (Young Girls not included).

 

Steven Fingermouse autograph wanted. Fakes will be accepted.

 

Wanted. Tampons for friends male and female. Neutered pigs will be accepted in my absence if I die of death soon.

 

For sale, twenty snipers. Would fit most roofs or government buildings. Glue is not included in the price, which isn’t included.

 

FBI secrets for sale. Will swap for a blue faced walnut picker or any other arse bender from neverham high street.

 

For sale. Two we didn’t do it kits. Take minutes to assemble and can be used to blame your friends or family for sexual crimes committed for the ultimate practical joke.

 

Wanted. Ten friends for orgy of varying quantity. May involved violets and coloured cock experiments. A fair price also offered for a semi used Mother In Law Assassination Kit.

 

For sale: OTT back flip. Can be used at parties where ghouls possess poo poo.

 

Will exchange my haunted cock for a Barry Hen Party Host. Must be blonde on top with smelly mop or will also accept your Mum in my pants. Warning pants are not included with the price which is priced for my own pop coodle nipper.

 

Nothing for sale, will accept 2000 ponds or James Gondala kit. Turkeys for sale, will fit most locks. I also cut people for five pounds a go.