My Dog’s Got No Nose

My dog’s got no nose.
How does he smell?
Hard to say under the circumstances.

My dog’s got no mirror.
How does he reflect?
He simply doesn’t care.

My dog’s got no job.
How does he earn his keep?
Apparently there are rules about this.

My dog’s got no eyes.
How does he see?
It’s like the blind leading the blind quite honestly.

My dog’s got no sense of direction.
How does he find his way around?
It’s like he just doesn’t care.

My dog’s got no dog.
How does he dog?
With the simplest of ease.

My dog’s got no pause.
How do you stop him?
We let him wind on to the end then turn him over.

My dog is 5 miles tall.
How do you do?
Fine thanks, you?

My dog’s got no manners.
How does he engage himself in public?
Terrible.

My dog’s got no nose.
Jamaica?
No he went of his own accord.

My dog has no on/off button.
How does he reboot?
We just pull the power lead out the back.

My dog’s got no Jamaica.
How does he smell?
Of his own accord.

My dog’s got no physical form.
How does he exist?
It’s like nothing leading the nothing quite honestly.

My dog’s got no understanding of basic arithmetic.
How does he cope with everyday situations that require basic arithmetic.
He really does struggle, but he gets by.

My dog’s got no ears.
How does he hear?
Over there.

My God has no nose.
How does he smell?
Religiously.

My dog’s got no gradient.
Eh?
Hmm.

My dog can recite pi to over 20 decimal places.
What’s the point?
I’m sorry you’ll have speak up over the hoover.

My dog’s got no lid.
How does he remain fresh?
Did I say dog? I meant lid.

My lid’s got no lid?
How does it smell?
Terrible.

My dog has no Doppler effect.
How does it sound?
Like a constant drone.

My dog has no magnetic field.
How does it magnetise?
Something to do with iron filings, I forget.

My dog does not obey Flemings left hand rule.
How does it spin?
Using a system of pulleys.

My dog can't touch this.
How does he break it down?
Like a superdope homeboy from Oaktown.

Knock Knock
Who's there?
No nosed dog.
No nosed dog who?
You just said it.

Dog dog.
Who's there?
Dog with nose intact.
How does it smell?
Terrible as it happens.

My dog went on a luxury cruise to the Caribbean.
Jamaica?
Yes.

Mein hund hat keine nase.
Wie reicht er denn?
Schrecklich.

My dog has no blank or blanks.
How does it blank?
With a thin strip of card.

My joke has no dog.
How does it amuse folk?
By using a play on words.